A Weekend in Ohio, Done Properly

A proper weekend in Ohio means basing yourself in Columbus, eating in German Village on Friday night, and driving southeast to Hocking Hills on Saturday. Sunday is for picking a direction — Yellow Springs, Amish country, or the lake — and not rushing back.

Ohio gets treated as a place you drive through on I-70 with the cruise control on. That's a mistake made by people who have never eaten a cream puff from Schmidt's or stood at the bottom of Ash Cave in October. Here is the weekend, in order.

Why Columbus is the base

Cleveland and Cincinnati both have a case. Cleveland has the West Side Market and Lake Erie. Cincinnati has chili parlors and hills that surprise people who think Ohio is flat. But Columbus sits in the middle of the state, which matters for a two-day trip, and it puts Hocking Hills within an easy morning drive down Route 33. It also has the university, which shapes the whole city in the fall whether you asked it to or not.

Book something near German Village or the Short North. Both are walkable, and walkable matters when you've eaten the way this itinerary tells you to eat.

Friday night: German Village

German Village is the brick neighborhood south of downtown Columbus — brick streets, brick houses, brick sidewalks that will trip you if you're looking at your phone. Two stops are non-negotiable.

• Schmidt's Sausage Haus. Order the Bahama Mama and a cream puff the size of a softball. There will be a wait. The wait is part of it.
• The Book Loft. A bookstore that sprawls through thirty-some rooms of connected pre-war buildings. You will get lost. Nobody has ever minded getting lost in there.

Walk it off through Schiller Park afterward. In summer they do Shakespeare in the park; in winter you just walk and look at the houses and think about moving there, which is what everyone does.

Saturday morning: North Market and the O-H problem

North Market is Columbus's public market, a short walk from the Short North. Go early, before the brunch crowd. Get a pastry, get coffee, and get a scoop from Jeni's even though it's ten in the morning — Jeni's started in this market and eating it here is the correct version.

Now, the O-H problem. In Ohio, if someone yells "O-H" at you, the only acceptable response is "I-O." This happens in airports, at weddings, and across parking lots between strangers. It is not optional and it is not explained to visitors in advance. Consider yourself briefed. If you want to start these exchanges rather than merely survive them, the O-H Tee does the first half of the work for you and lets a stranger finish the sentence.

If it's a fall Saturday and Ohio State is playing at home, understand that the city stops. The stadium is called the Horseshoe, the fans wear scarlet and gray, and the marching band is taken as seriously as the team. You don't need a ticket to feel it — Lane Avenue before kickoff is its own event. Wear something scarlet or be prepared to explain yourself. The Ohio State Pride Tee is one way to avoid the conversation entirely.

Saturday afternoon: Hocking Hills

Drive Route 33 southeast out of Columbus toward Logan. Somewhere along the way the flat farmland gives up and the hills start, and people who have never been to southeast Ohio go quiet in the passenger seat. This is the foothills-of-Appalachia part of the state, and it looks nothing like the Ohio in your head.

Hocking Hills State Park is the destination. The main stops:

• Old Man's Cave. The most famous trail and the busiest. Gorge, waterfalls, stone stairs, hemlocks. Go anyway.
• Ash Cave. An enormous recess cave at the end of a flat, easy path. This is the one to take anyone who claims they don't hike.
• Cedar Falls. Best after rain. Connects to Old Man's Cave by trail if you want a longer walk.
• Conkle's Hollow. The rim trail has real drop-offs and real views. Mind the edges.

October is peak color and peak crowds. A gray day in March, with the waterfalls running hard and half the parking lot empty, is arguably better. Bring shoes you don't mind sacrificing — the sandstone stays wet.

On the way back, if you're hungry, Logan has diners and Athens is not far past if you want a college-town dinner on Court Street instead.

Saturday night: back in town, keep it simple

You've earned an easy evening. The Short North along High Street has enough restaurants and bars to fill a night without a plan. If there's a gallery hop on, wander into it. If not, find a patio in summer or a bar with the game on in fall, order something local, and stay put.

One food note: at some point this weekend, someone will offer you a buckeye. This is peanut butter dipped in chocolate, shaped like the nut of the state tree, and it is very good. The actual nut is mildly toxic. Ohioans find this distinction funnier than it probably is.

Sunday: pick one direction

Don't try to do all of these. Pick one based on your drive home.

• West: Yellow Springs. A small, determinedly odd village near Dayton. Walk the shops, hike Glen Helen, and stop at Young's Jersey Dairy outside town for ice cream made on a working farm with goats you can visit.
• Northeast: Holmes County. Amish country. Berlin and Millersburg, cheese shops, bakeries, and two-lane roads where you'll slow down behind a buggy and be glad you did. Most things close Sunday, so aim for the drive and the scenery rather than the shopping.
• North: Lake Erie. If it's summer, Marblehead Lighthouse and a walk along the shore make the case that Ohio has a coastline, which it does, and it's a good one.
• Northeast, city version: Cuyahoga Valley. A national park between Cleveland and Akron, with the Towpath Trail running through it. Flat, green, easy, and quietly great.

Whichever way you go, you'll pass through towns with water towers and high school football signs and diners with pie under glass domes. That's the actual Ohio, and it's the reason the whole Ohio collection exists — the state earns the affection once you've driven it properly.

Common questions

What's the best time of year for this trip?

October, if you can handle crowds at Hocking Hills and a football-mad Columbus. Late spring is the quieter version — the waterfalls run full and the trails are green. Winter works too if you like frozen waterfalls and empty parking lots.

Do I need a car?

Yes. Columbus itself is manageable without one, but Hocking Hills, Yellow Springs, Amish country and the lake all require driving. The drives are half the point anyway.

Is Skyline chili worth it if I'm not going through Cincinnati?

There are Skyline locations well beyond Cincinnati, so you can try it either way. Order a three-way — spaghetti, chili, cheese — and reserve judgment until you've finished it. People argue about Cincinnati chili for sport; eat it as its own thing, not as chili, and it makes sense.